So I am writing this in the Moxy Hotel at terminal two at Milan Malpensa airport, it’s a trendy little spot actually, think travel lodge with style if that’s possible. I’m tired; it’s been a long week, but a good one. I say a long week, this used to be a very normal week for me but as you know working at the weekend has not been my thing in recent times.

I’m following the scores online watching some of the European Tours best players rip to pieces the course I have just shot 68 on, for a five under par tournament. Hatton needs to birdie one of the last two to win by one; I fancy he might just do it.

But what about me, I birdied the last by the way; I holed a forty footer to close out a really positive day, but let’s go back a few days first. I arrived on Tuesday to Monza and the superb Park de Monza golf Club, a little gem of a course. Everything about it seems old school European, its lovely. They took the tournament on late as something went wrong in Turin I believe, that left them with too little time to get the course in the shape they would have hoped for, a birdie fest has ensued as a result, that’s no bad thing of course, but it’s a Rolex series event, and it feels like courses should be a bit tougher bearing in mind the huge prize purse on offer.

With that being said I made this course look more than tough enough at times this week especially on Thursday when I shot 67. Hang on that makes no sense, 67 was my best score of the week, but I played my worst golf tee to green that day. Makes no sense does it. Worksop Martin has caddied for me again this week, remember him, the honest chap from last week who used to work for Seve, well Martin looked me straight in the eye on the 18th green on Thursday and said in a genuine way “David, that’s the best, most professional performance I have seen on a golf course for ten years”

What a jolly nice thing to say to someone, it meant a lot, another person may have taken a different slant on my day and said something along the lines of “my god how on earth are we going to make the cut with you hitting it like that”. To which I would have replied “I haven’t the faintest idea.”

I started Thursday with the goal of using the same swing thought for the entire day, which seemed a sensible plan. However that swing thought was gained whilst swinging in front of the mirror in my tiny but comfortable room in the Locanda San Paollo hotel, with the remains of a chocolate cornet still in hand, jeez they do ice cream well here.

So anyway armed with what I thought was the simple and effective swing thought, turning my shoulders as much as I can, I headed to the newly built range, and proceeded to hit 30 very nicely controlled shots, I moved to the tenth tee for my opening shot, a 3 iron to the par three and something completely different came out, a short sharp twitchy move that sent the ball diving towards the right hand trap, poorly struck and off line, it was not the start I was after.

My Tee shot off 11 was no better either and neither was the one off of 13, however I persevered and then on the 14th fairway I hit a five wood shot that was so poor it hit a tree that wasn’t close to being in my way, and that ladies and Gentleman, was the end of that swing thought.

That’s ok I guess, but I had nothing to replace it with in all honesty, which is not a comfortable position to be in. Still I wedged to 4 feet and popped it in for an unlikely birdie, just as unlikely as the one I had made on 11, so I focused on my score, rather than my swing, and headed forward. On the 15th I found a fairway, then the green with a 4 iron, then I popped the putt in for an eagle to get to three under, or so I thought anyway. Turns out I was the only player in the field who could remember that it used to be a par five, and still expected it to be so now. Alas Worksop Martin confirmed it was only a birdie but beggars can’t be choosers I guess.

Anyhow when I wedged to four feet at the ninth and tapped in the birdie putt I was indeed round in 67 and had set myself up to make it through to the weekend. Only problem is I have no clue what I was going to try tomorrow and I also knew that if I had a poor Friday and missed the cut it was going to hurt, and it was going to hurt my fragile confidence too. So a big day lay ahead.

When I read this back I realise this might all sound a little negative and you might well be thinking hang on, you’ve just shot 4 under par, what’s the problem? well let me try and explain, golf is all about control, with control comes confidence, with confidence comes trust and freedom in your swing, or your pitch or your putting stroke, without a feeling of control everything else disappears, and golf becomes nothing other than a stressful endeavor at this level, so control is everything.

I slept well and after a 30 minute warm up, all part of my new regime, I found myself on the range searching for something to hold onto for the round. A swing thought I could stick to. Reviewing Thursday I gave myself 1/10 for sticking to one swing feel which was my goal, clearly I need to be able to stick to something, to be consistent you have to do the same things time and again, but we need a starting point for this to be possible, and it’s the search for that which consumes me.

My back has been so bad this year that I’ve been unable to swing freely, but I realise that if I’m going to hit the ball better I’m going to have to be able to make certain fundamental moves in my swing, so I decide to take a risk, a calculated one at that, but a risk all the same, and I allow myself a few shots feeling like I have a little more side tilt through impact. All of a sudden I feel like my hips are leading the downswing as they should, my sequencing seems improved and my strike a little crisper, so I go with these thoughts and head out to do battle once more.

I’m better than Thursday, no doubt about it, there are more good shots, my bad ones aren’t as bad and I have a little spring in my step, I 3 putt the tenth annoyingly but birdie 11, and 12, then the 14th too, I’m 7 under for the tournament and in good shape, and I feel like the birdie at 14 has given me enough room to not be concerned about the cut line.

Fifteen and sixteen are long par four holes and I can’t fly the lone fairway trap on 15, so I aim left and commit to a fade but I overdo it, bunkered. I wedge out but my 3rd to the green is average, bogey, back to 6 under. Sixteen is the hole that used to be a par five, the one I mentioned earlier, no birdie today however. After a strong drive I still have 215 yards left, I make my first really poor swing and thin my 3 iron, it doesn’t reach the greenside bunkers, instead I’m left with a really awkward flop shot. Bogey. Back to 5 under.

The cuts looking like being 3 or 4 under, all of a sudden I’m under strain, I can feel it, I’m aware how upsetting it will be if I miss this cut, but I’m not panicking, I’m just aware that things are now a little tight. the 17th is a birdie hole really, 5 wood and a 9 iron probably, but there is a fairway bunker I have to avoid, which I do, by making a horrible swing and hooking my ball towards the trees. My heart sinks a little; this could go wrong now for sure.

I find my ball, it’s on the spectator walkway, it’s a clean lie, but I have to go underneath some trees, and my gap to land the ball in from 135 yards is exactly four yards wide, if I miss that space I will be left with a 20 yard bunker shot, from bunkers with far too much sand in. My chances of bogey from there will be 50%. I take a 7 iron, pop it back in my stance and punch it low under the branches, it pitches dead centre of my gap, one yard short of the green and bundles onto about 30 feet, it was the most crucial of shots, and I nailed it. My putt lips out agonisingly but I have a little wriggle room left.

18 is a tough hole, overhanging trees everywhere at the green, and if you miss the fairway the green is nigh on impossible to hit, there is out of bounds right and left off the tee, its hole that can be messed up in a heartbeat. Talking of which mine is racing just a little when I teed up my ball, but I commit well to a low safe kind of drive, its straight and leaves me in good shape, 6 iron in hand with a plan to hit a high draw to the middle of the green.

I draw it alright, and it’s somewhat high, but its left, way left, it rattles around in the big tree protecting the green and we see and hear nothing, no signal that it’s safe, and no acknowledgement at all that anyone has seen this ball come down. I feel a little of the sadness that will hit me if I miss this cut seep into my gut. I need to hit a provisional ball which I do badly, over correcting and blocking into the right hand tree, my thoughts fly back to the whereabouts of the first ball. My strides are quick and Martin is scurrying alongside me somehow. I study the crowd in the hospitality tents from afar and convince myself the ball is on their veranda, so I scour for the position of the nearest drop zone, which isn’t too bad. When I’m close enough I start to gesture to them, “have you seen a ball” I call, and then a voice comes over the clinking of cappuccino cups, “it’s in the bunker”, oh what music to my ears.

I splash it out well but it doesn’t release as I wish, I miss my par putt, but I’m in on 4 under par, I will make the cut for sure, and I have won this days battle. I know in the circumstances this was a great cut to make, and it buys me two more rounds to stick to my swing thought, that is exciting for me.

I play with more freedom and confidence on Saturday with Graeme McDowell, it must be five years since I played with G’Mac, I enjoy it immensely, but I shoot 2 over par, it’s my best hitting day so far and my worst score, whilst I hurt my chances in the tournament I boost my confidence for Sunday.

And finally on Sunday it happens, an enjoyable round of golf from a shot quality perspective, three days with the same thoughts, more and more quality strikes, no terrible shots, and that feeling of control is growing. I actually expect to hit a nice shot, and that is the key thing, genuinely expecting to hit a good shot is my holy grail, sure it won’t always happen, if it did id be the world’s best player, but expecting that I will hit a good one makes my world all the more enjoyable, it’s just the first step on my journey back, but the first step is the most important one, and I’m now looking forward to Valderrama next week with a little bit of excitement.

Oh and by the way, just as I thought Tyrell Hatton did birdie the last to win by one, what a performance, two wins in a row, many congratulations.