The Newlyweds!

Posted: 17th June 2009

Forgive me oh loyal supporters, for I have been lazy. It must be a couple of months since my last blog, mainly because not much has been going on.

If I rack my little brain I can recall a couple of little incidents that may be of interest to you all, about two months ago I tried my hand at being a removal man and helped a friend move a washing machine which was a success for him as the machine safely made its way into his garage. Not such a success for me as I strained my intercostal muscles and had to have a month off!

After returning to the tour in Ireland with a cut missing display I headed home to the PGA at Wentworth where a strong back nine on Friday allowed me to be employed for the weekend, which made a nice change.

The European open followed with a very disappointing missed cut by one shot and then I picked up the strangest injury in Wales when I sprained my right ankle whilst playing a fairway bunker shot on the 16th.  Having to walk up the steep hill to the 18th green backwards about five minutes behind my playing partners was kind of a sign that I may struggle to play the next day. And I was right, no chance at all on Friday so back to Swindon for a week on the sofa to rest the ankle.

What else has been going on, I've been packing up my home as I am about to move, I got married, I have been socialising.......... Hang on married? I got married, you heard it, David Howell has a wife. The long suffering Emily, love of my life agreed to marry me.

Now I don't know much about being a husband yet of course, but I do know a thing or two about arranging a wedding day. In my experience it takes about two hours to arrange, providing of course you have the register office booked already and a girl crazy enough to go along with you. Providing that is in the bag, wake at 8 am and give your fiancée space and time to her self so she can decide if she will still have you after all the grief you have caused her over the last decade.

Once she has come around and accepts your invitation of marriage, phone a friend and tell her she needs to take the day off work to witness your marriage and be maid of honour, oh and by the way tell her she has only three hours to the wedding time.

Leave fiancée to get ready and go out and buy a new shirt and tie, go to the florist and organise flowers for the girls and button holes for the men, phone a friend and organise a wedding car to pick up your fiancée from the hairdressers at 11.15 as she has an 11 o'clock appointment and organise a photographer for the day.

Head to Weybridge with best man for a pint at 11.30, whilst in pub decide it would be a nice place for a reception in the evening, order food and instruct head waitress to section off part of pub and decorate accordingly.

Head to register office and make yourself the happiest man in the world by marrying Emily!!

Mr and Mrs David Howell

Head back to same pub for ham and cheese toastie with an egg on top, chips and two coronas with wife and witnesses. Ask photographer to arrange wedding cake for evening do through her friend. Phone friends and family with the news, book 13 hotel rooms for friends then head home for a cup of tea and a rest.

Meet 40 close friends and Drink champagne and be merry until 10 pm when you go to the chip shop and buy fish and chips for everyone. Remember to add battered sausages to your order as it's a special day. Of course get girl from chippy to deliver to picnic table at the back of the pub.

Oh and on the way to the chippy make sure you bump into a random guy you have never met before who is a musician who has had a gig cancelled and has his organ and speakers in the boot of his car which is outside.. Chuck random guy 100 Quid for his trouble, watch him set up in 15 minutes and have the best party of your lives.

Return to hotel at 12.30 and relax in bar until 2.30 am. Meet twenty guests for breakfast at 9 o'clock the next day then get on with the rest of your life.

She is a special girl, it was a special day and I am one lucky guy. So for now from Mr and Mrs Howell goodbye and thanks for reading.


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